Find your inner tortoise and be happy

For my run today, I decided to listen to a Ted Radio Hour podcast on Happiness. We are close to the start of a new year, like so many of you, I pretty much feel this way about 2016:


via GIPHY

and it was a blue bird day; 50 degrees in late December. The weather helped lift my mood. Perfect running weather.  

As with all things podcast, I am usually hearing insightful comments, quotes, or thought provoking questions every few minutes. When running, these sources of inspiration and intellectual engagement help pass the time, and send my mind into overdrive. Where my mind goes, my legs follow and sure enough, I find my Zone 2 run is hovering more around Zone 4. I have so many thoughts that I wish I could write them down while running. This may prove complicated and perhaps somewhere in that wish is a new generation of gadgets for creative runners. 

Back to the Happiness podcast. Among the many synapses firing from this hour of insight, two things struck me, well three actually. The first is that we move too fast. Our culture promotes doing more with less time, and thus, happiness passes us by because we are too preoccupied with doing rather than being. Second, we have too much stuff. We don't live simply enough and over the course of our lives, accrue a great deal of useless things. None of this stuff contributes to our happiness. The happiness we yield from it, is often momentary or is because the thing is associated with a happy memory. It is not the thing itself that makes us happy. Third, a quote: "it is not happiness that makes us grateful, it's gratefulness that makes us happy" (Brother David Steidl-Rast). I want to talk briefly about gratefulness and happiness and then about our fixation on speed because I see them as connected. I will save "stuff" for another post because there is much to say on that topic. 

Being grateful, according to Steidl-Rast whose Ted Talk was featured in this podcast, is connected to recognizing that every moment we experience is a gift and an opportunity. We have no idea how many more moments will be given to us, how many more opportunities, so we should be grateful for every one. With that gratefulness comes happiness. Steidl-Rast is not saying we should be grateful for everything, because I am not grateful for violence, hate, war and bigotry. What he is saying is that we should avail ourselves of every opportunity given to us, and in so doing, we find happiness. Moments, he argues, are the most valuable things we can be given.

Now to our preoccupation with speed. I am currently contemplating my desire to continue chasing the elusive Boston Marathon qualification time by running yet another marathon in 2017. I had thought that my most recent marathon would be the finale in this story. If I didn't make the cut off, I would release myself from the self-inflicted goal of seeking a qualification time. However, that is not how the post-marathon thinking has played out for me. Which, in hindsight, I should have easily predicted. Runners do have, after all, pretty bad short term memories.

Qualifying for Boston is about getting faster, and with getting faster, comes work. Lots of miles, lots of speed work, and lots of time spent running. The drive to get faster is relentless. And, I am not sure how healthy it is. The qualification bar for women is far easier than it is for men, and yet, for many of us, not reaching it feels like a badge of shame. It reminds me of fairground rides I couldn't go on when I was a kid because I wasn't tall enough. Failing to reach my BQ time evokes the same feelings of inadequacy as standing against the makeshift ruler to determine whether my height met their safety standard. At the fairground ride, I would stand on my tip toes, hoping those extra centimeters would make a difference. This time, it's minutes and seconds and not feet and inches that determine my entry into the club. It is a point of pride for many, many runners to qualify for Boston, and they wear their Boston jackets and shirts like it's their nation's flag. I don't begrudge them that, and yet, it advertises a club to many of us that we can't be a member of. It separates them from us. The fast from the slow. For some of us, no matter how hard we train, those qualifying times are not attainable, like those extra inches elude many of us who just don't grow that tall. 

Speed. My pursuit of it over all else is present in running and in life. According to one of the TED talkers in this podcast, Carl Honore: "We're so marinated in the culture of speed that we almost fail to notice the toll it takes on every aspect of our lives - on our health, our work, our relationships and our community." As these sentiments from the podcast bounced around my brain, and ideas started shooting off in all directions, my pace quickened. My mind and my legs were turning over at a pace far greater than was helpful. I thought about my work, and how my days are not as full as they used to be in different jobs. I crave to be busier. Why? Why can't I enjoy the slower more relaxed pace of my new environment? It is an entire frame shift for me to slow down at work and slow down in running (despite how often I tell my athletes to slow down). According to Honore, U.S. culture makes slowing down a behavior that is shamed or discouraged. He states:

"slow is a dirty word in our culture. It's a byword for lazy, slacker, for being somebody who gives up. You know, he's a bit slow. It's actually synonymous with being stupid. I think there's a kind of metaphysical dimension that speed becomes a way of walling ourselves off from the bigger, deeper questions. We fill our heads with distraction, with busyness so that we don't have to ask - am I well? Am I happy? Are my children growing up right?"

The amount of times I have heard fellow athletes offer up "I'm slow" prior to a run or other workout as if naming it up front anesthetizes them from their embarrassment. They don't profess to be good or fast and just want others around them to know that. What does "slow" really mean when a vast majority of people don't even choose to exercise in any way? Why do we tell ourselves and others we are "slow" or "not as fast" as someone else? We say this self-deprecating statement in fun, but it reveals an underlying sense of shame about our level of ability. 

Faster isn't necessarily better. Running in Zone 4 for every run, work or life activity won't actually make you faster or more efficient, it will just wear you out. U.S. culture promotes Zone 4 all the time for everything with the prestige associated with a BQ time, 40 hour work weeks, minimal PTO, and lack of health and wellness benefits. Is it any wonder many of us struggle with the meaning of happiness when we don't ever give ourselves enough time to really think about it. To be in the moment, and accept each moment as an opportunity, is what we miss. How many more moments will we all get? As Honore says, it's time for us to get "in touch with [our] inner tortoise[s]." Live our lives rather than racing through them.


Quote and information taken from NPR podcast Ted Radio Hour, "Is There a Secret to Happiness?" http://www.npr.org/programs/ted-radio-hour/267185371/simply-happy (2/14/2104) 

Empathy and Power

I listened to an interesting podcast the other day on the issue of power. Dacher Keltner, a psychologist who teaches at UC Berkeley, shared his research that found those who are generous, kind and empathetic are typically people who don’t hold much power in society. This didn’t much surprise me, I think it makes intuitive sense. His research also demonstrated that those employees, people, and leaders who experience the most respect from others, and thus social power, are those who are emotionally intelligent, kind and generous. Displaying empathy therefore is a force that can lead you to acquire social power. This was interesting to me because I have heard time and again that being “too kind” or “too empathetic” can lead you to be either taken advantage of or left behind. Gender constructions position women most often in the “kindness” box and we see that few women acquire extensive, large-scale social or structural power. Indeed, if they are perceived as too kind or too empathetic then society judges them harshly as weak.

What was most fascinating about Keltner’s research however, was that when folks acquire power, they tend to lose their capacity to be empathetic: “once we feel powerful, we lose - or our capacity to empathize and to know what others are thinking really is diminished.” In gaining power within whatever system a person exists, they can become less invested in others and their empathy networks in the brain are actually quieted (research by Keely Muscatell and Supvindeer Obdea shows this). Folks who hold a lot of power and privilege, the research shows, have inactive empathy networks in their frontal lobes. Keltner on Muscatell and Obdea’s research: “if you come from a position of privilege and power, the classic empathy networks in the frontal lobes of your brain are not even active when you're thinking about another [person]. So this is a very deep effect of what power does to our empathic capacities.”

I am not a scientist nor do I know much about the brain, however, I found this to be pretty interesting. The interviewer asked about billionaires who are also very philanthropic but the researcher’s response was to point out that the philanthropy might actually be a very small percentage of their actual wealth versus someone with less who gives a greater percentage of their income/assets. If someone only gives a tiny percentage of their wealth, even though this figure might be enormous, does that actually make them particularly generous or empathetic to other people’s needs?


When I think about leadership, I think fondly of those leaders I have encountered who truly seem to care about those around them and their communities. Sadly, these people I can probably count on one hand. Most leadership lessons I have experienced have been lessons in how not to treat others. Individuals I have known in workplaces who I might categorize as empathetic and generous, when rising in the ranks and acquiring more (structural) power within that system, have been unpredictable in how they have then continued to maintain connection with their colleagues and continued to exercise empathetic and generous leadership. Power corrupts, we have all heard that phrase, but research is showing that corruption isn’t just a selfish desire to maintain one’s power per se, but instead a dampening of the parts of the brain that oversee empathy. Gaining power creates a physiological reaction that diminishes our actual ability to be empathetic to others. What does this mean for leadership in general? How do we each maintain a connectivity to kindness and generosity when our brain changes as we gain power – social, political, structural, financial or otherwise? We can see this playing out right now in the U.S. presidential election.


Hidden Brain podcast on power: http://www.npr.org/2016/09/06/492305430/the-perils-of-power

Creating Conditions for Wellness at Work

I am standing at my desk trying to motivate to get to the pool over lunch to do the workout I missed on Monday. Apparently, motivation is a theme for me. I am 1.5 weeks out from my A race, so I am also pretty fatigued at this point. With two days of work travel ahead, I am fading. When you travel for work, you aren't doing just 8 hours a day, it is always longer and more taxing than that. While I love to travel, being away from home can be tough when you are already tired.

My midday motivation has prompted me to reflect more deeply on the conditions that folks need to engage in activity while at work. In my previous job, I had a standing desk that I loved. Then, in my new job, I went three months without one and boy, did it have an impact of my overall level of energy. I actually tried to construct one out of empty boxes but that wasn't that successful. I was shocked at the impact not being able to stand and work had on me. Going from standing at work to sitting all day left me feeling extremely lethargic. I had no idea how differently my body responded to standing and sitting versus just sitting. I am also in a windowless office that is very quiet, so there isn't a lot of stimulation or sunlight. The body movement required of standing, or of alternating between standing and sitting keeps me alert and a little more engaged. I know not everyone is lucky enough to have a standing desk or is able to use one given mobility differences, so finding a set up that works for you in your office is important. If you do have access to request one and can use one, I would highly recommend it.

It's interesting I think, how office culture has developed and how in many ways, it really deters folks from being active despite the rhetoric employers use to encourage active lifestyles. The pressure to be at your desk, standing or otherwise, or the time it takes to go from your office to the gym/pool/track and back again influences our decisions to be active during the work day. I am already calculating how long it will take me to drive to the pool, change, swim, change again and drive back. Likely longer than the hour I have for lunch which then necessitates me working later to address that discrepancy. Given the multiple commitments folks have, working late is not feasible and so if a workout can't fit neatly into 60 minutes, it is often shelved.

My office building doesn't have a gym, it doesn't have any outside space to spend time, and it doesn't even have a communal area for folks to gather away from their desks to eat lunch, so they just work through. There are 100s of employees in my building, all buzzing away in their own little isolated worlds. Some folks change their shoes and go for a walk, through our parking lot and onto a busy road, before they can disappear into quieter neighborhoods. It's not a conducive walking environment though. The pull to stay inside is powerful, and once in the rut it is hard to break free. There are wellness programs and encouragement to bike to work for example, but the infrastructure and flexibility isn't there to support folks doing that. It never ceases to amaze me how unwilling employers are to put the structure in place behind their words to support their employees' wellness, whatever that may be. It is as though wellness and productivity are distinct unrelated concepts. This couldn't be further from the truth in my opinion. How long will it take for organizations, public and private, to come around to this perspective? That is likely a million dollar question.

Postscript: I did motivate to go swimming, and swam for 43 minutes, but with the drive and change time, it took me 95 minutes all told. I even wore my swimsuit to work under my work clothes to minimize change time. Without a flexible supervisor or pool in your building how do you get away for that? I am not sure I will be able to do it again.

Motivation: In Work, Training, and Life

For several weeks earlier this year, I struggled with motivation, particularly motivation in my training. Up until a few months ago, I was missing workouts or finding ways to limit them. My ability to manage my job, life, and training felt out of balance. About a month ago, I made a conscious choice to commit to do every training session. As my coach told me, I “get” to exercise; it is never a “have to.”

Many of us don’t think about or don’t respond to the reality that we are all temporarily abled bodied. We are temporarily able to engage in rigorous activity and that ability could be lost at any time. The risk that one day our mobility might no longer be as it is today, is real. Yet, even when we know folks who have struggled with physical changes to their bodies, if it’s not in our immediate foreground, it lacks any power to change our own behavior. We know it could be, perhaps, maybe, kind of, but it isn’t right now, so why think about it? I have endeavored to remind myself of this when my motivation is slipping away to re-orient myself to my training as a choice and as something I get to do. It isn’t an obligation, it isn’t something I drag around with me like a ball and chain. It is something that has positive benefits and gets me outside and away from the pull of the sofa.

Motivation is of course a complex matter. Sometimes we just cannot motivate ourselves to get up and outside into activity and there are very real cognitive and biological reasons for that. I think about this inner struggle I have experienced with training – the “should I/shouldn’t I” conversation that happens almost daily in my head – and compare it to my professional life. Motivation at work is a real issue for many of us. I believe it is connected to the need for change, intellectual stimulation, or something new and interesting. However, I don’t think folks experiencing a lack luster work environment or a lack of interest in their work always see it as such. Blah becomes the new normal and ceases to be noticeably problematic. I have talked a lot about stagnancy in the professional realm before now. In particular, how employees lacking in professional cultivation by their employer stay at organizations for years and cease to grow personally and professionally. This stagnancy impacts organizational culture over time and slowly puts the brakes on innovation and opportunity. Stagnancy can impede the forward momentum of your business as much as stagnancy in training can impede progress toward your athletic goals.

Stagnancy and motivation are linked. When motivation is waning among employees or there is a lack of energy about the future and what could be, that’s an indicator that stagnancy has, or is about to take hold. The responsibility lies with the employer to remove the collective hand from the brake and inspire something different. Employers should encourage a culture of constant professional development so that folks don’t fall into low-risk, uninspired ruts. That is not to say that employees don’t have some responsibility here. They have to pick up what their conscientious employer is throwing down. Much like I have to work with, and listen to my coach as I struggle through periods of low motivation. This body of mine is not invincible, it is permeable and it is vulnerable despite what I can make it do. I work hard to make it strong, but I must remind myself not to take it for granted, not to get stagnant. In work, as in training, I must check in with myself and be honest about when I am stuck. We should all strive to not take work life for granted and simply sink back down into our sofas instead of rising to the challenge and opportunity of something new. Put another way, I must resist the urge in work and training to choose comfort over possibility. *

*credit for that last line goes to my fabulous work friend, Trish.

Slow Down and Focus on Pace

It's been too long since my last blog post and this fact is the basis of this post - slow down. These past few weeks have been immensely busy and writing this post keeps dropping down to the lower levels of my to do list. A number of friends and colleagues have confessed to feeling overwhelmed at work and they offer this as the basis for their lack of engagement. I, too, have felt as though I don't have time for probably the more important things in life. 

This afternoon I read an article in this month's Runner's World about pace over speed. The central argument was that while speed is often what people pay attention too (think 100m sprint in the Olympics), managing your pace, and going the distance is really where it's at. The author talked about how we think we can overcome the constraints of time by going faster, but really time continues to roll forward at the same pace regardless of how fast we try to move. I have experienced this phenomenon when out for an hour run and I am struggling to motivate to get through it. In an effort to get it done more quickly, I run it faster. Now that I think about it, it makes me laugh, because an hour, is an hour, is an hour. Going faster will mean I cover more distance but it won't actually end the run any faster. Speed creates the illusion of time going faster and a greater sense of achievement or production. 

This focus on speed over pace permeates work culture too. Get as much done as you can. We are constantly told that we should cover more distance (do more) which inevitably requires us to move faster. In so doing however, we risk making more mistakes, we may not engage as deeply, and we may lose sight of why we do what we do. Bouncing from task to task to task at lightening speed because your to do list isn't getting any shorter creates the illusion that we are managing our time well - "look at how much I have done!" But it may not be an effective way to manage our time and tasks. The to do list will always be there; something will always get added. For me it almost feels like I am chasing my tail. I can never get to zero on my to do list, and going faster simply leads me to miss things or end up overwhelmed. 

U.S. work culture orients itself to more is better, faster is better. If you don't produce at phenomenal rates, you risk being labeled incompetent. The message many companies communicate to their employees, implicitly or explicitly, focuses on speed over pace. The long haul and managing a consistent pace is infrequently valued. Instead, the content of the message often includes the requirement for employees to move more quickly (read: produce more, do more). The association with speed and production is fascinating. Covering more miles doesn't necessarily mean you are running a quality workout. Producing more in your workplace doesn't necessarily lead to quality results. The old adage: quality not quantity is heard often in employment contexts, but I don't think employers enact it. 

It shouldn't always be about doing more or going faster. We cannot manipulate time by doing either. As in running, we should focus on efficiency in our work. When I say efficiency, I don't mean doing more with less as is often the classic "tightening of the belt strategy" espoused by employers. The tacit meaning of "more with less" is go faster, cover more distance and do so in the same amount of time as before. Efficiency, like with running, means shifting our focus to pace and form. Allow employees to engage consistently in their work and in their life. We should use our resources more thoughtfully and reduce the amount of energy we throw at something. Overwhelm breaks down our form and reduces our efficiency. This is true in life as much as it is true in running. Recognize the lists will always be there and that there will always be something to do. That reality shouldn't necessitate us moving faster; it should necessitate us mastering our pace, finding our rhythm and methodically moving from one task to the next with a clear head and relaxed approach. Long distance running can teach us individually and organizationally about who is more likely to win the race without injury in the end.